Hooray, You’re A Father! But It Sucks!: Princess Maker 1 Review!

While I generally stick to my manga and anime reviews, today I thought it would be fun to branch out and talk about an old game that I have been playing casually for the past little while. That game is Princess Maker 1, a menu-based simulation game created by Gainax in 1991. As a simulation game lover, I watched a friend play Princess Maker 5 and immediately felt the urge to have my very own darling daughter… So I opened up Steam, decided to start from the ground up, and purchase the first game in the franchise.

Opening scene sets the premise; you are a hero who saved the kingdom from an evil army who then retires and decides to spend his days raising a sweet orphan. And, from there, the game begins with 500 Gold and one 10 year old daughter. From here on how your daughter turns out is all up to you. 

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect out of PM1, as PM5 is much more advanced as a game with the ability to create each day of the week’s schedule and give your daughter certain standards to uphold. Alas, though this game - as the foundation for the franchise - is as frustratingly basic as it comes. Graphically, it’s a hard mess on your eyes unless you enjoy the early 90s era of basic visual novels. As for audio, it’s the same voice clips and OST throughout the game - which is honestly what I should expect from such a simple simulation menu game. 

My gripe is not really with the limits of gaming technology in 1991, I actually enjoy older games and media very much… However, it comes with the frustrating inability to make money while progressing in the direction you want to go. First of all, unlike its predecessors, PM1 only plays in month-long schedules that cause the year to go by incredibly quickly. Each week you can pick only one activity to do, so that just about squashes your ability to have a well-balanced schedule. Not only is that the case, but also different activities heighten and lower your daughter’s stats… If you want to make the most money by doing lumber-jack or laborer work, you get strength but lose so much etiquette. However, if you want to do more studious work and gain intelligence, you lose strength and have trouble with basic jobs that earn good money. 

Then there is the insane fact that your daughter MUST work every month due to the fact that your character decided to retire, then adopt a child, then stay retired. You get no financial help throughout the game, so it’s up to your daughter to make the money for her own education and gifts. That’s pretty lame… I know that this is set in a fantasy medieval setting, but making your daughter work for everything at such a young age seems… like unfair child labor… 

In any case, the game progresses so quickly that when you blink she is already 16/17 years old and you still haven’t reached the goal of speaking with the king because her etiquette is too low because she had to make money to even learn basic etiquette!!!! Overall, this is game has been incredibly frustrating to attempt to play despite my love and patience for simulation type games. Ganiax, you tried. 

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I cannot say that overall I didn’t have any fun, but technically this game is confusing and feels like a rough draft of PM2 - which I hear is a far more enjoyable game.

Pros:
+ Cute Voice Actress
+ Interesting Game in Theory
+ Sets up Plot and Foundation for Franchise

Cons:
- The music may get annoying
- The inability to efficiently make enough money to not be poor or sick ½ of the time can make you want to rip your hair out.
- She will turn into a delinquent and then not be able to get a job for at least one month which will make her, again, poor and sick.
- The game techniques are hard to understand.

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Has this been a frustrating game that I will introduce to my friends when they want something simple and old? Yes. Will I play PM2-5 after this? Yes. 

Rating: 3/10 Unrewarding Etiquette Classes

-Swittx